Five Eyes or Five I's?
The Anglo-American Empire explained
Whenever you happen across the expression “five eyes” in mainstream Canadian media, there will be an obligatory explainer attached. US, UK, Australia, Canada, and New Zealand are the five eyes.
This will inevitably be presented as something to be pleased about. After all, to be in the five eyes club means you get all the latest intelligence from Uncle Sam’s legions of intelligence agencies. Like, you’re so tight with DC you get this stuff even before the regular NATO allies!
This thrills the Macdonald-Laurier Institute crowd who drive foreign policy in Canada. It makes them feel they’re Uncle Sam’s besties.
“Oh look at us! We are amongst the most virtuous of the Nations of Virtue!”
Well, I got some bad news for them.
It’s not the five eyes.
It’s the five I’s.
The I stands for inbred.
That’s right. The five eyes are actually the five inbreds.
Think it through. Where did the pilgrims come from? Where did New Zealanders and Aussies come from. Where did Canada’s settlers come from?
The Empire of Brit inbreds once included India and Nigeria and a whole lot of other places populated mainly by brown people. You’ll notice India and Nigeria aren’t in the five eyes club.
But all those white colonies Britain seeded are!
Colonies and colonialism are much in the news these days here in Canada. Apparently many Canadians had no idea of our roots as a British colony. Hundreds of CBC journos had to get mental health help after that story about the unmarked graves at residential schools broke out.
Hate to break it to you, but the British Empire left millions of graves all over the world. Why does it shock you to find some in Canada?
The five inbreds are today the core of the Anglo-American Empire, aka the American Empire. I know that sounds dodgy to some otherwise sensible people, but look at how Brit princes and princesses are more popular in America than in Britain.
And look at how the guy who owns Reuters happens to hold a hereditary chair in the House of Lords. And doesn’t the guy who owns Fox News hail from Australia?
It’s not the “Five Eyes.”
It’s the “Five Inbreds.”